dreamville_bg (dreamville_bg) wrote in talk_politics,

Friday nonsense. Super-sale! Magic hat!

Here's a special offer for y'all! A magic Make America Great Again hat.

So here's the hat. But be aware that it's made in China and is not original. But that doesn't matter, because once you put it on, you'll be a star on the street. People will turn around to look at you, and they'll be jealous.

Bonus stats:
+2 partisanship
+3 carnivorousy(sic?)
-2 veganism
-10 homeopathy
+10 bigotry
+9 desire to build walls
+9 desire that someone else pays for said walls
-10 intelligence

Extra bonus: +10% ability of building tall fences and walls with Chinese materials (as is the hat itself).

In order to activate the bonus stats and the extra bonus, you'd need to worship Mammon, and be a certified douchebag.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q. Do you have anything in common with the new US president and the TTP?
A. No.

Q. Why wouldn't you hand out the hats personally?
A. Because I don't wanna be beaten up by over-tolerant Hillary fans.

Q. Would you build a war along your border with Turkey?
A. Sure! But we already have one. It's made of barbed wire.

Q. Don't you have original versions of the hat?
A. No, because they're too expensive.

Q. Do you eat meat?
A. Only if it's GMO invented in US labs.

Q. How much GMO meat can I carry in that hat?
A. Limitless amounts.

Q. At what temperature is it recommended to wash the hat?
A. It's not recommended to wash it at all, but you can't make it wet even if you wanted anyway, since once it comes into contact with damp, it activates a protective shield that's designed to defend America from outside enemies.

Q. What quality category is the hat?
A. Plain Chinese hat, that's all.

Tags: nonsense, offtopic, trump
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