+10°С The Sami sow flowers.
+5°С The Sami are sunbathing.
+2°C Italian cars stop working.
0°C Fresh water freezes.
-1°C The breath becomes visible. The Sami eat ice-cream and drink beer.
-4°C The cat wants to get under your blanket.
-10°C Perhaps it's time to plan a trip to Africa. The Sami go swimming.
-12°C It's too cold to snow.
-15°C American cars stop working.
-20°C The breath becomes audible.
-22°C French cars stop working.
-23°C The politicians suddenly start giving a damn about hobos.
-24°C German cars stop working.
-26°C The breath can be used for making bricks to build an igloo.
-29°C The cat wants to get into your pyjamas.
-30°C No real car can work at this point. The Sami curses, kicks the tires, and starts the Lada.
-31°C It's too cold for kissing - the lips would get glued to each other. The Sami soccer team starts training for the spring season.
-39°C Mercury freezes. It's too cold to even think. The Sami button their jackets.
-40°C The car also wants to get into your bed. The Sami puts a sweater on.
-44°C My Finnish colleague considers shutting the office windows.
-50°C All walruses abandon Greenland. The Sami shut the toilet windows.
-70°C All polar bears abandon Arctic. The Lappi University of Rovaniemi organizes a skiing picnic.
-75°C Santa abandons the North Pole. The Sami put their fur hats on.
-120°C Alcohol freezes. As a result, the Sami are pissed.
-268°C Helium becomes a liquid.
-270°C Hell freezes over.
-273°C The absolute zero. Brownian motion ceases completely. The Sami admit it's "a bit cold" and request another vodka on a stick.