luzribeiro (luzribeiro) wrote in talk_politics,
luzribeiro
luzribeiro
talk_politics

Hills' Pan-galactic gargle blaster revealed

At long last, after tons of relentless pressure from Trump and his supporters, the Reptilian candidate Hillary Clinton has revealed what the secret substance that she takes before presidential debates contains, which gives her a sudden flash of energy that lasts only for a few minutes.

In a unprecedented caving in, the DNC has reluctantly published a list of ingredients that their nominee is using, specifying that America deserves a strong and high-energy president, regardless of the bio-chemical price. The list goes as follows:

HAARP-sprinkled chemtrails
GMO junk food sauce
The sweat of the sisters Williams
The tears of all the women whom Trump kissed against their will
Essence of Wikileaked emails
Drone fuel
The droppings of all the bald eagles this traitor has slaughtered for sport
Methyl alcohol
Dirt from the Hollywood set where the Moon landing was faked
Corndogs dipped in baconnaise
The blood of That Fly that Obama murdered during an interview
Garlic sauce, stolen from the kebab of an absent-minded jihadist
Retro beer from the time when Monica was still a "thing"
Baby vaccines that give autism
Fluoride - lots of it
Tripe soup from the offal of hybrid alien-earthling cows from Area 51
Her own slime (cuz she's slimy like that)
The birth juices of a vegan hippie after abortion

All of this, mixed up pretty well in the core of a North Korean nuclear reactor

And served in cups made of the skulls of Libyan children.

Question is, should she keep that diet or no. Possible answers:

Poll #2056149 Hillary's Hills' Pan-galactic gargle blaster

Should Hillary keep that diet?

A) Sure, if it suits her. JFK did too, after all. And look how well that worked out.
5(50.0%)
B) Hell no! She should immediately terminate this self-destructive diet, unless she wants to become like Angela Merkel.
1(10.0%)
C) I vote None of the Above and demand another set of [nominees] options.
4(40.0%)

Tags: clinton, conspiracy, nonsense, poll, satire
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