December 16th, 2012

I Am Adam Lanza's Mother

Three days before 20-year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year-old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants. "I can wear these pants," he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises. "They are navy blue," I told him. "Your school's dress code says black or khaki pants only."
"They told me I could wear these," he insisted. "You're a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!"
"You can't wear whatever pants you want to," I said, my tone affable, reasonable. "And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You're grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school."
I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.
I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza's mother. I am Dylan Klebold's and Eric Harris's mother. I am Jason Holmes's mother. I am Jared Loughner's mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho's mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it's easy to talk about guns. But it's time to talk about mental illness.
We always hear the same questions - and accusations - when a tragedy like this happens. We wonder why no one saw it coming. If you've ever had a family member in your house who frightens you (and I have), you can empathize with the woman who wrote this article.

Well played, GOP

GOP Authorized Half A Million Dollars In Secret to Defend DOMA, While Publicly Opposing Spending

"The updated contract now authorizes Bancroft LLC and Republican Paul Clement, former solicitor general, to spend up to $2 million in defense of DOMA, double the original agreement."

Whoah. Turns out the Repubs were "secretly"* spending extra money for DOMA, passing a little provision in a bill that would let them spend $ 2M on a law that was pretty controversial.

Remind me to remind you the next time a Republican tries to portray themselves as a staunch fiscal conservative and a paragon of prudence, to laugh in their face and recall how they threw money into keeping gays from getting married on a federal level, all the while claiming this should be an issue to be decided by the states themselves.

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