· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.
· A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
· PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
· Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
· Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
· Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
· Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
· I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
· Velcro - what a rip off!
· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
· Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
· Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.
· I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.