Now the issue is quite relevant to our monthly topic - free speech. How far does it stretch and when does it become a detriment? Trickyyy...
Several musicians have recently produced songs in which the holy prophet "Violet" sings silly and offensive things, causing outcries of horror from the Order of Violet.
1. "THIS IS BLASPHEMY!!!" shouts Father A. Long, Grand High Poobah of the Order of Violet. "Our holy scriptures specifically forbid any portrayal of our prophet's most holy voice. We cannot permit people to slander and mock our prophet and insult all of us. These people are simply doing this to see if we are extremists. Death to the blasphemers!"
2. Speaking anonymously and from hiding, one of the musicians self-identifying as "Mister T" says, "It was just meant to be a joke! I never thought that they'd take it so seriously. I just wanted to give them a little ribbing like I do the other major religions of Pastafarianism and Frisbeetarianism." Mister T glances over his shoulder to see if anyone is watching, "Please don't try to figure out who I am... I'm scared for my safety. The government should protect my freedom to insult whomever I want. Freedom of speech should hold nothing sacred, not even God!"
3. "Freedom of speech is important, but so is freedom of religion. Surely we can strike some sort of balance?" says Luke Warm, chief spokesperson for the ICNSC (the Insert Country Name Society of Compromisers). "Freedom of speech comes with a responsibility. People must avoid anything that insults another's religion, and if they aren't willing to do it themselves, the government must enforce it."
4. "His Holiness, the Grand High Poobah of Violet, has the right idea, but the wrong religion," says Suk Ing-Bong, the Prelate of Primary Public Relations for the fanatical organization Insert Country Name's Concerned Citizens for Our God. "This nation needs an official religion, and not support the Godless heathens who worship the idolotrous Violet. Appoint me as your spiritual adviser and I'll ensure that all people worship God in the correct way."
5. "They've got it all wrong. Freedom of speech isn't the problem, religion is!" shouts Virginia Kunnt, at a local AA (Atheists Anonymous) meeting. "If religion were outlawed, this problem would solve itself. Just send them in for medical treatment. After all, anyone who believes in some big invisible dude who can do anything is clearly nuts."
The legislature of Insert Country Name is preparing to adopt a decision.
You're the ruler of Insert Country Name. Adopt one of the above positions.
Father Long, Grand Poobah of Violet
Mister T, one of the musicians
Mr Luke Warm, Compromisers Society
Mr Bong, Concerned Citizens prelate
Miss Kunnt, anonymous atheist
But of course, you wouldn't be able to find a perfect choice among these, and that's for a reason.