Stijn van der Kasteel (mahnmut) wrote in talk_politics,
Stijn van der Kasteel

Death Penalty on Death Row?

How did you like the affirmative action situation the last time we had one of those awesomely hyperbolized connundrums taken from the NationStates online game, the place where you're Dear Leader of an imaginary realm, which you're definitely going to bring down into a cesspit eventually? Well, that one was a close call, Ms Lara Love the melodramatic director narrowly winning the vote by proposing that arts should be left alone to decide who they should hire and mock.

Now the issue is much more sinister - the death penalty!!! It's a controversial question: how far does it extend, should it exist at all, are there viable alternatives to it, etc etc. But without further ado, here's the situation.

The Issue
After new DNA evidence has proven that recently executed inmate Andy Brew-Vikingsson (erroneously sentenced for the mass murder of babies) was actually innocent, human rights activists have been campaigning to ban the death penalty.

The Debate

1. "This is government sanctioned murder!" chants Fanny June, a human rights activist from outside your office door before being dragged away by the police. "It must end! Not only is it murder, but it amounts to hypocrisy of the highest nature! Yeah, keeping criminals locked up instead of mercilessly killing them might be costly, but maybe we can offset the cost by putting them to work making handcrafts and sewing tapestry in the prison store? Regardless, we have to abolish the death penalty - it's the only right and moral thing to do! Besides, who said spending the rest of your life in a cell is a lesser punishment than a quick and clean death?"

2. "What about other potential criminals out there?" whimpers The Insert Country Name Watch spokesperson Lt Jack Hammer, who has taken to hiding beneath your desk. "Did you know that since we introduced the death penalty the crime rate has decreased hugely? I say we introduce the death penalty for more crimes, like burglary and trespassing, and then no-one will ever dare to do anything wrong!"

3. "There's absolutely no proof that the crime rate has decreased", states Dick Looney, your foreign affairs advisor, with a nod. "But I have an idea. If we're going to be killing these people, we ensure it's as non-violent and as respectful as possible; make our executions more humane and give these people some choice in how they die. The international community will love us for our civility and humaneness. We'll be an international benchmark! And while we're at it, we could also execute a couple of the nastier corporations just to send a message! They're people too, after all!"

4. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" Brianna Kinks, the Chief Deputy Assistant Police Commissioner states, swirling a pair of handcuffs on one finger. "We don't go around executing innocent people for the fun of it; accidents happen! So those hippy people should quit their boo-hooin'. Look, if we give our boys in blue some more cash maybe there'll be less room for mistakes. Everyone goes away happy. Right?"

5. "Hows abo' bringin' back dem-dere good ol' fashioned lynchings? Bring justice back ter tha peoples!" shouts Jethro, a survivalist. "Who'd dare ta kill innocent peoples when tha punishmen' is bein' pelted ta death wit' rocks? Mhmm?"

The legislature of Insert Country Name is preparing to adopt a decision.

Poll #1838678 Death Penalty on Death Row?
This poll is closed.

You're the ruler of Insert Country Name. Adopt one of the above positions.

Ms June, human rights activist
Lt Hammer, Watch spokesperson
Dick Looney, foreign affairs advisor
Mme Kinks, police commissioner
Jethro the survivalist

Of course, you didn't expect that any of these options would be 100% satisfactory for all, did you?
Tags: hypothesis, justice, poll
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