Patrick M. Hayes (paedraggaidin) wrote in talk_politics,
Patrick M. Hayes



Okay, so I crack jokes a lot. When I'm in a certain frame of mind I make jokes about eating things. And in the midst of such vorous humours I will joke about eating. cooking, or otherwise culinarily involving puppies, kittens, baby otters, baby humans, adult humans, seals, whales, dolphins, deer, polar bears, garden gnomes, and other assorted critters, real and imagined. Now, me being somewhat less than a great humorist, these jokes are generally received with reactions ranging from mild chuckles to eye-rolling not-again looks. But, if I so much as breathe a single syllable about eating horses, all manner of people, generally female, suddenly come out of the woodwork, spitting with rage, filled to bursting with righteous indignation, calling me an unfunny, mean-spirited disgrace of a man with no sense of decency and the sense of humor of a KGB jailer. Horses, apparently, are sacrosanct and inviolate, pure and unstained, God's favorite creation of all time, better than Jesus, wonderful animals who don't deserve my inhumane attempts at humor.

I can joke about eating kids, but not about eating horses. THIS IS STUPID. People eat horses you know. In many countries horse is a delicacy. France even has special butcher shops devoted to horse meat. Horse is, by all accounts, quite tasty, though I have not had the privilege myself, partly from lack of access, partly from fear of being dragged to the town square and beaten with riding crops by athletic young women in tight riding gear...uh, is it getting a little hot in here?

Yes! Well! Anyway! Horses! Why are they not fair game for humor??

This rant not in any way brought to you by bitter memories of the crazy ex who loved horses and hated my horse jokes and dumped me via email because Jesus told her to.

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Tags: humor, offtopic
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